What Would Vern Yip Do?

With apologies to Stan, Kyle and Cartman

deborah*:
What would Vern Yip do
If he was here right now,
He’d make a plan
And he’d follow through
That’s what Vern Yip would do.

Kim*:
When Vern Yip was on Trading Spaces
Designing inside a yurt
He scraped off wallpaper and put down a floor
While wearing a tight t-shirt

Wendola*:
When Vern Yip was in Atlanta
Fighting the crowd at the malls
He used his magic designer discount
And saved us from white walls

All TS Recappers:
So what would Vern Yip do
If he were here today
I’m sure he’d kick a sconce or two
That’s what Vern Yip would do!

Wendola:
I want Kia out of my TV
That border is fugly as can be

Kim:
And I just want to stop
Thinking about Edward’s mop

deborah:
For Amy Wynn I’ll use power tools, too,
Cuz that’s what Vern Yip would do.

All TS Recappers:
What would Vern Yip do,
He’d call all the homeowners in town
And tell them to unite for two (days)
That’s what Vern Yip would do

When Vern Yip redid an enormous room
With only two days and 1000 bucks
He vanquished the greige carpet
And saved us from a room that sucks

Wendola:
And when Vern Yip designed the pyramids
He beat up Rachel Ashwell
All TS Recappers:
Cuz Vern Yip doesn’t take shit from any wanna-bes

So let’s get all the viewers together
For we have to stop Banyan now
And we’ll save all the homeowners too
Cuz that’s what Vern Yip would do
And we’ll save all the homeowners too
Cuz that’s what Vern Yip would doooooo
Cuz that’s what Vern Yip would do.

*Kim, deborah and Wendola are all writers who have recapped Trading Spaces for the website, Television Without Pity.